Below is a list of behaviours often demonstrated by batterers and abusive people. All forms of abuse - psychological, economic, and physical - come from the batterer's desire for power and control. The list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship.

• Destructive Criticism/Verbal Attacks: Name-calling, mocking, accusing, blaming, yelling, swearing, and making humiliating remarks or gestures. (link to "The fence")
• Pressure Tactics: Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping" and other forms of intimidation, sulking, threatening to withhold money, medical services/treatment, manipulating the children, telling you what to do.
• Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right, bossing you around, making big decisions without any input
• Disrespect: Interrupting, changing topics, not listening or responding, twisting your words, putting you down in front of other people, saying bad things about your friends and family.
• Abusing Trust: Lying, withholding information, cheating on you, being overly jealous.
• Breaking Promises: Not following through on promises, not taking a fair share of the responsibility, refusing to help with child care or housework.
• Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions.
• Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: Making light of abusive or upsetting behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn't happen, blaming you or someone or something else for abusive behavior
• Economic Control: Interfering with your work or not letting you work, refusing to give you money or taking your money, taking your car keys or preventing you from using the car or other forms of transportation, threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies.
• Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing drugs or alcohol, threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm, deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss).
• Isolation: Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives, or go to medical/health appointments, monitoring phone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go.
• Harassment: Making uninvited visits or calls, following you, checking up on you, embarrassing you in public, refusing to leave when asked, continually calling you or trying to see you after you have said, "no".

Forms of Domestic Violence

• Contact: fvpwaterloo@mosaiconline.ca
• 519.743.6333

• 400 Queen Street South, Kitchener, ON, N2G 1W7